Men Can't Win

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her
birthday. "I'd love to be ten again," she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, got
up, brought her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops and
then took her off to the local theme park.

What a day! He put her on every ride in the park:
the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming
Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later she staggered out of the theme
park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt
upside down. Right away, they journeyed to a
McDonald's where her loving husband ordered her a
Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing
chocolate shake.

Then it was off to the cinema to see the latest
blockbuster, a hot-dog, popcorn, a drink and her
favorite sweets, M M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and
collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his
precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked,

"Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly
changed.

"You idiot, I meant my dress size!"

The moral of the story:



Even when a man is listening, he's gonna get it
wrong.

Kids!

A first grade teacher had twenty-five students in her class and she
presented each child in her class the first half of a well-known proverb
and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to
believe these were actually done by first graders.

Their insight may surprise you! While reading these, keep in mind
that these are first graders;- 6-year-olds - because the last one is
classic!

1.Don't change horses.........................until they stop running.

2. Strike while the.......................................bug is close.

3. It's always darkest before......................Daylight Saving Time.

4. Never underestimate the power of............................termites.

5. You can lead a horse to water but................................how?

6. Don't bite the hand that.................................looks dirty.

7. No news is...............................................impossible.

8. A miss is as good as a...........................................Mr.

9. You can't teach an old dog new.................................math.

10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll...............stink in the morning.

11. Love all, trust.................................................me.

12. The pen is mightier than the...................................pigs.

13. An idle mind is...............................the best way to relax.

14. Where there's smoke there's...............................pollution.

15. Happy the bride who...........................gets all the presents.

16. A penny saved is...........................................not much.

17. Two's company, three's................................the Musketeers.

18. Don't put off till tomorrow what.............you put on to go to bed.

19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and...........you have to blow your nose.

20. There are none so blind as............................Stevie Wonder.

21. Children should be seen and not..................spanked or grounded.

22. If at first you don't succeed......................get new batteries.

23. You get out of something only what you..........see in the picture on the box.

24. When the blind lead the blind.....................get out of the way.


The WINNER and last one!

25. Better late than...........................................pregnant.

Who says our little ones aren't smart and extremely observant!!!!????