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Friday, February 25, 2005

Knock! Knock! Joke #6, 7 & 8

Knock! knock!
Who's there?
Isabel.
Isabel who?
Isabel working? I had to knock.


Knock! knock!
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
Are you an owl?


Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Goat
Goat Who?
Goat to the door and find out.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Blonde Joke #4, 5 & 6

#4
Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
A: Divorced.

#5
Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours?
A: Because the can said "concentrate" on it.

#6
Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

Monday, February 21, 2005

Laywer Joke #3

Deathbed Lawyer

Why was the lawyer skim reading the Bible right before he died?
He was looking for loopholes!

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Who drove that bus?

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

In June a replacement bus driver hired by Greyhound during the drivers' strike met the bus he was to drive from Delaware to New York City. However, a passenger on the bus wound up driving to New York because the substitute driver could not drive a stick shift.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Blonde Joke #3

Cooking

Why don't blondes double recipes?
The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Referee Joke #1

Did you hear about the Referee who went on a date with a football manager's daughter?

She dismissed him for handling, interference and trying to remove her jersey.

Friday, February 11, 2005

Laywer Joke #2

Catfish and Lawyers

What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One's a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwelling scavenger, the other is just a fish.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Knock! Knock! Joke #4 & 5

Knock! knock!
Who's there?
Kent
Kent who?
Kent you tell by my voice?


Knock! knock!
Who's there?
Jess
Jess who?
Jess me and my shadow

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Annoying phone calls

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

A co-worker of mine fielded phone calls from his Alumni Association every three months for about five years, ostensibly checking to see that his records were up to date, and coincidentally asking if he'd like to donate to the Alumni Association. Once, when checking his records, the employee asked, "Is xxx-xxxx your current phone number?Seeing his opportunity, he answered no, and made up a new phone number. He hasn't heard from them since.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Waiter Jokes #3 & 4

Waiter! Waiter! What's this gravestone doing in my salad?
It's a tomb-ato


Waiter! Waiter! There are some ghosts in my stew!
That's because it's ghoul-ash, sir

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Animal Joke #3

Why did the monkey put a slice of bread on his head?
Because he thought he was a griller